Friday, August 31, 2012

in medias res: maths never sleeps.

so i woke up today at 5:30am.

it was partly by accident yet partly expected, due to jet lag. regardless of the cause, the moment when i saw the time on the alarm clock, i had one immediate thought:

if i get up now, then i might be able to Teχ up that lemma before my parents wake up and start talking at me.

yes, i know that i'm supposed to be on holiday. on the other hand, i'm trapped at my parents' house in the lost world of american suburbia, where there's little to do and few places to go.

at the same time, i'm still in the middle of a project that i had wanted to finish last week, but one thing led to another, the woman next to me on the flight across the atlantic wouldn't stop chatting at me [1] .. well, you get the point.

i don't know what i was thinking. i should have taken a proper holiday, away from both work and family, home and .. er, home.
often i dream about a little town in the mountains, reading a book left by a previous traveler in the only cafe in the area, where the owner whistles while dusting the mantle or stirring a pot of stew. probably i would write beginnings, endings, or random scenes of short stories .. but never quite finish them.

there would be mornings spent hiking through trails, with nothing more than sky and trees, dirt and dust and birds in branches. there would be evenings savored with a warm fire on the hearth, striking up random conversation with fellow travelers over a pint in the pub that doubles as a cafe during the day. [2]
i imagine that kind of holiday as something not easy forgotten, yet without any specific moment that's easily recalled. i imagine days and days, none more notable than the last, melting into each other into a diffuse feeling of contentment ..

.. not unlike the vague memories of a full and happy childhood.

i don't know how well i do without maths, even when i'd intend to set it aside for my own good. i guess some people just can't be helped.

[1] at some point in my life i learned that conversation can easily and often go one-way. i've become convinced that most people don't really listen to others; put another way, if you're thinking of how you're going to say something before the other person has finished talking, then you're no longer listening to the best of your capacity. i'm often guilty of this, myself.

[2] odd: when i imagine those scenes, i always see myself traveling alone. i don't mind people, but sometimes either my thoughts get in their way .. or perhaps that people get in the way of my thoughts.

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