Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Prodigal.

So in a few days I have to return to real life.. that means finally grading these exams, prepping another exam for another class, getting back to a scholarly journal, to colleagues in my department about a potential project and journal club, and so on.

Why do I feel alone in my endeavors? Why do I think I'm so ineffective and inefficient?

I feel refreshed.. but the sort of relief that will quickly deplete itself in a week's time and stress. My one track mind is a disadvantage in this modern society, where one had to stick to a multi-tasking schedule of barely controlled confusion..

Thursday, March 20, 2014

On what to prep.

In my previous travels to attend conferences or visit colleagues,I used to bring printouts of preprints (most of them by others, not me) as well as a few books and a laptop.

Experience has shown me, however, that most of this stuff is never used.

These days I bring a netbook, the preprints stay in PDF form [1], and there's room for both my running shoes and climbing shoes.

[1] .. and the books are digital, too.. though legal copies are harder to come by.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

On the bright side..

My recent posts have been rather bleak, haven't they? I guess I'm still not fully used to professorial life; sometimes I wonder if it will ever feel normal.

That said, it's Spring Break and I'm away for the week, visiting my co-authors in sunny Spain.

I feel life my old self again. Ideas are coming out: a few good ones, lots of bad ones too. There's a good chance we'll finish off the guts of one manuscript.. and now I'm thinking about how to start another one.

So maybe I was wrong before; sometimes I can get my act together, finish what I started.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

How it never ends.. but how it starts.

I'm supposed to go to the airport in two days, in order to cross the ocean and to keep a promise to a few colleagues. (Being that I don't keep many of those, it's rather crucial that I do so when it counts.)

Still, I'm easily exhausted. If I could say that I am exhausted right now then I would.. but the fact is that I'm not.

I know that I can still work, still have enough energy to keep the collaboration going if I budget enough effort per day of the visit.

I liken it to surviving on 5 1/2 hours of sleep per night: after a while it feels normal but you could swear that you used to be faster and sharper and maybe you're just "getting old" ..

I also know that once I come back, then I'll spend a few days feeling exhausted and bitter at having to readjust to my old routine.. to the extent that I'll probably swear that I'll never travel mid-semester ever again.




I don't feel the same anymore. It used to be easy, even natural, to be excited about getting up in the mornings and wanting to do maths right away.

Yesterday I met with colleagues in the department and we talked about PDEs.. rather, they did and I was trying to decipher what the underlying mechanisms were.

I am and will always be an analyst; these guys really think in terms of physical principles and what the equations are supposed to mean. I suspect that we'll keep a truce and the compromise of that truce will be geometry.

Anyway, my point is that the whole time I was absolutely ambivalent: I simultaneously thought (a) this is pretty damned cool and (b) fvck: I have.. aw, fvckity fvck! [1] .. that many incomplete projects right now and I'm supposed to learn.. no, have learned.. these disparate things; how can I juggle this one too?




The fact of the matter is that I don't know how long I can keep this up. It feels like a Ponzi scheme on which I can't possibly follow through. I don't know why people put up with it, with me.

Whether or not I am exhausted, I feel exhausted. So let this be a lesson to you young researchers: even if your intentions are good, never promise more than you can deliver.



[1] at last count, i have $5 + 3(\frac{1}{4})$ collaborations and $3$ solo projects; a $\frac{1}{4}$ of a project means that there is a decent lemma or two, but no real theorems yet. As for the topics, they vary from geometric measure theory and PDEs to fractals, sub-Riemannian geometry, and minimal-like surfaces .. to even Banach space differentiability! On top of these, i suspect that one collaborator is trying to convince me that dynamics is interesting.

Saturday, August 03, 2013

disruptions, distractions.

so i was having dinner with my sister [0] when she asked me what i was thinking about lately. (i took this to mean mathematics.)

at first i couldn't think of anything, which was really weird,
especially since i was working on something that very morning;

i guess i've been really distracted lately.



to put things into perspective, the last five posts ..

(namely this, that, also this and this, and that too)

.. were dead-man's switches .. at least in erdös's sense [1]. they were compiled about a week in advance. i was away on the spur-of-the-moment holiday because .. well, the girl i'm dating was on holiday and we wanted to spend more time together. [2]

at first i thought i'd not bring any maths with me, if only as a romantic gesture .. but then i looked up my flight and it was 3 hours long: a long time, and i didn't have anything in mind to read at the time [e];
well, a laptop's not that heavy, and neither is that manuscript ..
so on the flight to rome, i idly decided to edit my $\LaTeX$. i sorted out one lemma, then another, and then in the middle of another proof, something didn't make sense.

closing the laptop, i tried to rework the proof in my mind .. only to perceive a gap. there was only an hour left in the flight to think of a patch before she and i would meet up again in the airport baggage claim .. and i started panicking ..
because the manuscript is supposed to be ready already, dammit! argh!
thus the plane touched down, decelerated [3], and arrived to its gate while i struggled without any viable ideas. dejected, i re-activated my cell phone, shuffled out of the plane and into another unfamiliar airport, and wondered ..
what kind of mathematician makes that kind of mistake, misses a gap like that?
sighing, i looked for the right baggage carousel from my flight ..

this would prove to be a distracted trip; in the mornings before we got up, i'd fumble with details in my head and feign sleepiness when she asked what was wrong.

.. to be continued?




[0] i.e. a mathematical sibling.

[1] according to this article and other accounts i've read, erdös would consider a friend "dead" if he stopped working on mathematics, so the term "dead man's switch" isn't that far off. (i wonder, then, if erdös considered "death" to be a permanent condition!)

[2] i'm leaving finland in 2 weeks. she and i haven't spoken about the future yet .. at least in much detail. suffice it to say that it's a rather turbulent time in my life. i'm pleasantly surprised that i can focus on anything mathematical, at the moment!

[e] in case you were wondering, she and i were on separate flights. now that i think about it, i don't know if she's aware of how much and often i work. (personally i don't think i work all that much, but experience with family and previous girlfriends seems to suggest otherwise.)

on an epilogical note: the laptop did help after all. i had merely a dumbphone and her smartphone wasn't connecting properly to the hotel wifi, so it came in handy with looking up various cool locations to visit.


[3] "de-celerate" shouldn't be an actual word. acceleration, being a directional quantity, can take on both negative and positive values.

Monday, June 17, 2013

MoAR: a bit about politick, other bits too (*slightly updated*)

i'm starting to think that these roundups are a little .. artificial; maybe 'unfulfilling' is a better word. honestly, most of these posts have nothing to do with maths and are hardly instructive.

also, sometimes it's a struggle to find enough interesting articles to share, every week. other times there are too many to choose, and to list them all would contribute little more than social media websites like /. or reddit .. and less effectively, at that.

i used to post articles that were interesting to me upon finding them, and sometimes added commentary of some depth. maybe i'll switch back to that, especially as two of the shared links below are already in that format. (if you have a constructively critical opinion on the matter, then let me know in the comments.)

at any rate, this is what i found this week:


well, it's not the fields medal ..

.. but i suppose it's nice to get recognition for your work, even if it's from your local congressperson!
"The congressman concluded by congratulating Philip T. Grεssman and Robert M. Straιn of Penn State’s Department of Mathematics for solving the equation. Another odd thing about McNerneγ’s speech on the House floor? The “new advancement in mathematics” is about three years old."

~ from Math invades the U.S. House @rawstory


a rebuttal: what's wrong with boring?

the following excerpt sounds inspiring ..
I’m not talking about the kind of travel that neatly fills those allotted twelve days of annual vacation. No, that kind of travel is frenzied, restricting the majority of life to an unnatural cycle of constant want of more. I’m talking about the kind of rugged, unplanned long-term travel where you give up owning most things, leave behind a stable home, learn to live simply on a budget, and really see the world for months on end. The kind of travel that was possible after graduation, when you strapped on your backpack and jumped into the unknown world, flowing carefree wherever the wind blew.

~ from "Why you should quit your job and travel now @ medium:
.. but i have a different opinion.

i've been telling my colleagues that i am looking forward to a boring summer;
this means, in particular, no unnecessary traveling for work [1].

boring is an under-rated word. it belies qualities like safe and predictable, of course, which are qualities much maligned in this modern age that favors innovation and novelty.

my opinion is different, if only because it is personal. i already strive for plenty of innovation in my work. i don't need anymore creeping into the rest of my life. every day of research is a cumulative attempt of seeking new explanations of phenomena that i just don't understand.

to give you an idea of my time frame:
every few months, i make a small discovery or two ..
.. but nothing that really clears everything up.

i've been thinking about the same fundamental problems for about .. 5-6, maybe 7 years, and i still don't have a full answer. i wish i did [2].
to put it bluntly, i spend most of my time confused at ideas.
there's no easy way out of this, either.

my field of expertise is so tiny (read: insignificant) that probably only a dozen or two people in this world are probably familiar with the same ideas. plus, they don't always reply to their emails. the down-side is that, on average, there's nobody else around that can explain things to me, which means that i have to "think my way out" by myself and grope in the proverbial dark, alone.

so though i'm not exactly a creature of habit, i do appreciate the familiarity in my daily life. traveling for work is just that much more unfamiliarity: on top of being confused at infinite-dimensional Banach spaces, the last things i want are to remember where my hotel or hostel is, what the words for coffee and lunch are in the native language, and so on.

i'm no apologist for why life is boring. if you want to live a life of adventure and innovation, then go ahead: i'll just stick to my lonely, esoteric, academic journey, thank you very much, and enjoy predictably fine espresso, at the pleasant cafes on the street corners that i know relatively well.


the stuff nightmares are made of.

i remember a few fellow ph.d. students from china and other chinese students during my first postdoc. as the summer went on, everyone else left to see their families and take vacations. they, on the other hand, might take a road trip through the u.s. or just stay around.

when i asked them why they didn't go back and visit their families, they said that there might be visa problems, coming back: they might have to wait a few months before their paperwork was in order .. or in rare cases, they wouldn't be let back at all.

i never knew how likely the latter possibility would happen .. but it's a painful thing to hear that problems can come from the u.s. side:
"Οmar F. Zaιdan, a Jordanian citizen, was denied re-entry to the US on the eve of his PhD defense at Johns Hopkins University. It has been over a year and a half, and he has not yet been allowed to return."

~ from a publicly-available letter @jhu.edu


quantifying the liberal arts?

admittedly, i would have thought that a lack of comfort with ambiguity would actually make for better thinking, because one would be more motivated to look for the right answer.

on the other hand, if it's a problem worth solving, then it's probably hard enough that you will spend days, weeks .. even years .. working out out, which is a lot of time suffering in uncertainty.

there's also the contribution offered by creativity too, i suppose;
new ideas rarely come from overly rigid thinking.
"Afterwards, each participant filled out a survey measuring their emotional need for certainty and stability. They expressed their agreement or disagreement with such statements as “I don’t like situations that are uncertain” and “I dislike questions that can be answered in many different ways.”
..
Those who read a short story had significantly lower scores on that test than those who read an essay. Specifically, they expressed less need for order and more comfort with ambiguity. This effect was particularly pronounced among those who reported being frequent readers of either fiction or non-fiction."


~ from Study: Reading novels makes us better thinkers @salon


utility vs. fairness, sort of.

i was reading this article and right away i sided with this passage (contrary to the author's position):
"You always talk about the value of hard work.
But what about somebody in a coal mine — wouldn’t
you say he works as hard as you? Why should you
get paid so much more than that guy?"


~ from "Are coders worth it?" @aeonmagazine
somehow reading this article outraged me in a way that i cannot explain, which suggests that my reaction is purely emotional. conceptually it makes sense to me that, in a market economy, value and utility don't necessarily go hand in hand. however, i cannot help but feel a certain way about what looks fair:

i'm not one to talk, though:

i'm a university researcher whose work isn't readily applicable to society for the foreseeable future (i.e. useless). if i had to measure my utility to the economy, in the here and now, then the main contribution would actually come from my teaching instead of my research.

a lot of times i remind myself of a kind of hippocratic oath, that at least i'm not doing too much harm. i'm not directly making rich people richer, nor contributing to the further inequity suffered by disenfranchised minorities.

one could argue that i am causing harm in terms of opportunity cost: the fact that the nation of finland is paying me to work on 'useless stuff' means that less funding goes to biologists who might cure cancer, sociologists who could study how to eradicate poverty, or engineers who could find new ways to harness renewable energy or clean up the environment [1]. since i took the money, that does put a little bit of responsibility upon me to do my job well .. even if other jobs could produce more immediate societal benefit.

another passage from the article now becomes relevant:
"I do most of that work with a tool called Ruby on Rails. Ruby on Rails does for web developers what a toilet-installing robot would do for plumbers. (Web development is more like plumbing than any of us, perched in front of two slick monitors, would care to admit.) It makes tasks that used to take months take hours. And the important thing to understand is that I am merely a user of this thing. I didn’t make it. I just read the instruction manual. In fact, I’m especially coveted in the job market because I read the instruction manual particularly carefully. Because I’m assiduous and patient with instruction manuals in general. But that’s all there is to it."
the phrase "i just read the instruction manual" is especially poignant to me.

sometimes i feel the same way: if you read the same research articles and textbooks that i read, thought about the same problems for just as long as i have, then you'd probably have reached the same conclusions (and subsequently, the same modest success).

to a certain extent, RTFM really is key in life. if i've learned anything as an academic researcher, it's that we read preciously few articles carefully (if at all). the key, i suppose, is to choose those few very carefully, and do a good job on reading those selected few.


[1] i should emphasize the "for work" part of that stipulation. probably i'll take a week or two off, here and there. already some friends and i are planning a camping trip sometime in july.

[2] on the other hand, part of me wonders what would happen if i were able to solve those problems, all at once. i wouldn't know exactly what to work on next. i think i'd actually become slightly depressed at losing a long-standing adversary, to be honest.

[3] when it comes to environmentalism, i have to admit that my reasons are particularly self-serving. you see, i like to hike the outdoors (despite my dislike of travel) and human-wrought desolation just pisses me off. i don't care if most humans on this world will not get the chances that i do to explore this world. i still want mine.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

away, again.

it's been quiet on my end. i took the week off and headed to france to go bouldering with friends [1]. i feel tired .. not necessarily in a good way, not in a bad way either, but just tired .. and certainly not from maths.

honestly, it felt like a bad time for a holiday .. especially as the last one wasn't too long ago. though it was fun, it didn't feel like an earned holiday.

at times it was hard to shut my brain off:
every morning i tried to wake earlier than everyone else and think about a problem or two over a cup of coffee, occasionally jotting down a few computations in a notepad that i brought.
come to think of it: with few exceptions,
i've been doing this every day since i moved to finland.

this routine worked for the first few days. after a while, though, the climbing became serious and everyone started getting up early for more time on the rocks.

there was also the matter of a research visitor next week .. one whom i actually invited this time but whom i've never met in person. during the last few days i was often preoccupied with how the visit would go. (as you may recall, hosting isn't one of my strong points.)
lately i feel like i've not been accomplishing much and that my recent endeavors haven't been very deep [2] .. and both without good reason. maybe it's just the flight i took home this morning, but paradoxically i'm tired yet feel like working.

there's the standard cliché that i need a vacation from my vacation. that's not what i want, though: not exactly, anyway. it would be nice to get away, go somewhere with only an empty notebook and pens, and just work without interruptions .. work and not come back until i had something complete.

i get the feeling, though, that paradoxically and simultaneously, i'd miss being at the office. it just goes to show you that, for some people, perfection doesn't really exist in life; at most, one gets a sufficiently nice balance of a "uncertainty principle" towards their quality of life.





[1] interestingly enough, one of the main pioneers of bouldering as a sport was actually a mathematician named john gill. according to the wiki, apparently he studied cοmplex dynamιcs!

[2] part of me suspects that those weeks spent at IΡAM have warped my usual research expectations. it's easy to forget that maths isn't about getting ideas .. but following through and shaping them into rigor.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

interlude.

in case you've been wondering, dear readers, i decided to take an impromptu few days' off.

the bulk of the maths i've done lately has been the use of trigonοmetry and isοperimetry .. in the sense that i've been doing a little hiking and keeping count of elevation.

strange: on the way up, i always focus on the trail;
while on the way down, i tend to think about maths.

Friday, April 12, 2013

tired and nonyoung; also, the siege.

as i told a colleague yesterday, lately i've felt lazy .. yet at the same time, overworked; it's a rather strange, paradoxical feeling.

if i had planned things better, then i would have arranged a short holiday before heading to a thematic program in lοs angeles .. which is already in full swing [1] ..

.. but it will be good to see old friends and colleagues again, maybe meet some new faces, and hear firsthand the new developments since the start of this program and a previous one at msrι.
come to think of it, the field's getting fairly fashionable as of late. as something of a related-yet-separate flavor, this fall is an upcoming program on οptimal transpοrt, again at msrι.

what is it about the state of california and this metrιc space stuff, anyway?
on a related note, the new postdoc in our group asked me today: how is it, being so young, that you've met so many people?

i nearly laughed: young? (-: [2]

to be fair, i know enough older guys who'd give me a hard time if i dare call myself :old: since, by the law of transitivity, they would also be :old: and i don't think any of us would call them that.

so i guess i will not be :old: .. but it's four years, going on five, since i defended a ph.d. i don't feel :young: anymore .. just tired, that's all.

i could sure use a few days off ..



on an unrelated note: this week i've proceeded with the siege. i'm happy to declare that the fortress has fallen .. but i'm keeping a lookout for insurrections.



[1] i like to think that i'm arriving fashionably late. (-:

[2] i told her that i travelled a lot, when i was "even younger" .. and probably too much for my own good. 7-:

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

.. there and back.

today and yesterday i felt like everyone treated me a little like a carton of milk, on which the expiration date was hard to read.

they: "janus, hi! how long are you in town?"
me: "hi! er, well .."

.. it was a short visit this time: a little more than 48 hours. i felt like i was constantly saying hello and sorry and measurablε dιfferentiable structure and goodbye to many colleagues, both new and familiar.

it happened that my colleague/friend/host asked me if i've visited his (new) university before. i nodded.

thrice before, in the last 10 years:
one of the first conferences that i ever attended, too.

speaking of a next time, another colleague asked me if i'd be free to visit next spring .. which means, i hope, late spring. honestly, i need a break from traveling [1].

besides that, there's something about the finnish winter that makes me want to retreat indoors, and not come out for anything but trail running, indoor rock climbing, a long session of sauna, or a pub crawl.



.. on an unrelated note, there's something very soothing about traveling on trains.



the more i think about it, the more collaborations feel unnatural to me. i find them stressful, honestly .. though it's often a good type of stress that leads to some productive end.

one problem is that i'm just not that quick .. not right now, anyway;

if i believe it and if i act effectively towards it,
then who knows: maybe i can actually become smarter.

on the other hand, maybe i should just let myself be "stupid" and throw out ideas, instead of sitting quietly, contemplating, working them out into a polished form by myself.
to a certain extent, it doesn't matter if a given idea is a good one or a bad one. what matters instead is that you eventually get a few good ideas.

so the point is to generate good-enough ideas and resolve them effectively, and more processing power (in terms of number of minds thinking about it) generally leads to swifter resolutions.
still, i hate sounding stupid and i can't stand not knowing what to do next .. which is a frustratingly impasse, i tell you. maybe i just have to get over it.





[1] in 2012 i've been to lappeenranta, madrid, new york, tampa, ann arbor, lansing/cadillac, turku, amsterdam & brussels & brugge & lille & reims & strasbourg & heidelberg & frankfurt, krakow, jyvaskyla, new york again, pittsburgh, paris, san francisco, london, madrid again, segovia, and jyvaskyla again .. which totals 88 days (or ~3 months) i spent out of town ..

[realises]

.. ye gods! now that i think about it, i criss-crossed the atlantic four times this year, and gave fourteen (14) talks & lectures. is something wrong with me? i must be a masochist..!

Sunday, December 09, 2012

lessons in (not) traveling.

[written earlier on the train]

i don't know if i'm tired from work or tired from traveling.

as for this week, i'm taking a short trip and spending a few days at a nearby university: a colleague (and friend) moved there for a position and i've been invited to speak in his new seminar, maybe work together on a problem or two.



it's been a week since i've returned from a 2-week stay in spain. i don't know where those seven days went, but they didn't amount to too much. then again, it's hard to compare the daily grind to, say, working for hours with collaborators every day for a while; the latter case certainly sets a rather high standard, of course.

i know that i showed up to the office, committed to a list of tasks, and completed some of them .. yet it feels like i've not accomplished anything since coming back. part of the problem is that i've been too preoccupied with this next trip, for no other reason than i have to plan for it and stick to the plan.

it is a curse to have a one-track mind, incapable of multi-tasking.

at any rate, a week is too short: i should have arranged more space between these trips .. at least two weeks, in order to rebuild a routine.

habit and routine have become my main tools to develop any kind of work efficiency.
it sounds boring, but it really works.

i suspect that this is something that everyone just knows ..
.. well, except me, who had to actually learn it.

the holidays are coming. taking time off sounds very good right now, but there are so many things to do. the year is ending and all i can think about are the things i've not yet done but wanted to do.

those kinds of thoughts are exhausting ones, and they only lead to a vicious cycle of unproductivity and self-recrimination ..
.. that is, i think about my shortcomings,
feeling bad about them, i sulk and do nothing;

having done nothing, i develop new shortcomings,
then think about them again .. 7-:
i don't know if i'm really tired, but that's how i feel.



[written later, having arrived]

epilogue: it's always worth visiting friends. (-:

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

life wasn't simpler, back then.

over the weekend i learned about blogger's label feature ..
for an example, click here; also .. [0]

.. so i ended up reading quite a few posts i wrote when i was in the middle of my ph.d. and shortly after i started doing actual research. it makes for more interesting reading than my life now, but .. ye gods:

I. it was a dark, uncertain point in my life. i forgot how often i worried about whether everything would work out or even whether i was cut out to be a mathematician [1], how it took so long to ever learn anything .. much less work with it .. and then there were 2-3 rounds of job searches: one just before the financial crisis hit with full force, the other(s) after it.

in comparison, my life now feels relatively secure and even routine.

that's not to say that i've stopped worrying. rather, i think i worry just as much as i used to [2] .. just that i've gotten used to not getting any resolution out of it, and gotten better at pushing it out of mind.

II. i wrote a lot more often about technical details, and i don't exactly know why. maybe it was because all this research stuff was new to me and i found it hard to separate it from the rest of my life.
maybe it's because by writing them, i could partially convince myself that i had some idea of how they worked .. which i didn't, of course.

maybe it's because i've encountered enough non-experts, relative to my field, and have given enough unsuccessful explanations that i've grown tired of writing or thinking about them, during my non-work hours.

contrary to popular expectation, not all of us researchers work all the time;
these days i would consider myself a non-example.

who knows? maybe it's progress .. that i see a bigger picture now and that the details, though still essential and important, aren't the main focus anymore.
related to this, my research problems have been asking why a bit more often than how, these days.

III. travel wasn't routine to me, yet. to be fair, i didn't particularly like traveling back then, either, but i was more excited by the trips i took.
the first flight to finland (2003) was an adventure to me, for example.

Monday, July 11, 2011

internet troubles (and more)

apologies for the long gaps between posts:
in the two weeks of the SMS @ Montréal, i stayed in a dormitory building that had no internet access, so all my recent posts were written at coffeehouses and the university maths building (where the lectures were held).

also: last thursday my laptop and passport were stolen, which may explain the lack of posts in the last few days.
on a related note, i learned a few things:
  1. despite the hassle of it all, you must file an official police report in order to get a replacement passport;
  2. if you don't make an appointment in advance at the U.S. Consulate, then you are put to the very back of the line.
on a related note, i'm glad that i brought a notebook and pens with me [1]. i think i had scrapped out 3-4 ideas before they called me to the passport window .. which was fairly productive, actually.

in particular, i have a new idea to attack the usual conjectures that i'm obsessed with. almost surely, they won't work, but i might learn something that could be useful, later on. (-:


those things said, i still like the city of Montréal. to be honest, i think it would be a fine place to live; too bad they don't seem to be hiring .. \-:

[1] due to issues of security, large bags and knapsacks are not permitted in U.S. Consulate buildings. i'm glad that i was warned of this in advance: instead of spending hours being frustrated at what i couldn't prove, i would have spent hours being frustrated and with nothing to do (and in particular, not being able to be frustrated at what i couldn't do, anyway).

Friday, March 25, 2011

[in transit]

at this point in my life, conferences are like reunions. i've traveled often enough, in the last 10 years, that i've met many now-familiar faces in the field.

so far it's a pleasant time. rice university is a well-kept campus, beautiful. it's good to see old friends again.


that said, not everything has gone well or according to plan:
  1. in the morning i woke at 4am to make a 6am flight;
  2. having arrived by 9am and with the late morning free, i decided to go on a 30 minute run around houston .. but having gotten lost, it became a 50 minute run.
it could be worse, i suppose. between rumors and folklore, we managed to find a good source of coffee on campus and the organizers are on top of things, with plenty of restaurant advice and precise directions to the right university buildings.

so far this trip has been worth writing the substitute lectures .. which, to regular readers, is something nontrivial. (-:

Friday, March 11, 2011

leaving, on a jet plane ..

the worst thing about traveling isn't the airports.
these days i arrive to airport security beltless, with my shoes untied, and holding a plastic bag of mini toiletries. admittedly i feel pathetic .. i imagine myself a dog, rolling over, in hopes of getting a treat .. but i suppose i'm not the only one.

for that reason, i don't mind trains.
(besides, on amtrak trains there are often power outlets for laptops.)
the worst thing isn't the banal chit-chat with fellow passengers, either.
at this point, nobody seems to want to talk to one another. maybe it's because of all the chatty fellow passengers that i keep griping about, and travelers are inclined now to the opposite extreme.

there is also the issue of boredom, but there are now better ways to entertain oneself: iPods, in-flight tv, and the occasion book or magazine.

gone are the days when someone asks me what mathematicians do or how they hated maths back in school. the only thing anyone asks me, these days, is my choice of beverage .. and depending on the airline, if i want cookies or peanuts.
no: the worst thing about traveling (during the semester) is preparing lectures in advance for your substitute.

i hate doing that.

in general, i rarely write lectures more than 24 hours in advance. if i write my lecture notes too far in advance, then i'll forget the pace and details, and the ensuing lectures will be plodding and slow. i hate feeling like i don't know what i'm talking about, right away.

luckily, it's spring break for my university this week.
all i have to do is write a talk and not miss my plane: easy enough.


my flight's boarding now. if you're headed to statesboro, ga: i might see you there.

Monday, January 03, 2011

what i didn't get to do, this holiday.

i have one more day until the spring semester begins, two more days before i give my first lecture.

this winter holiday seems very short, more so than in previous years.
the fact is, i lost close to a week when the winter storms hit, two weekends ago:

my tuesday flight out of jfk airport, last week, was among the hundreds (thousands?) of flights that were canceled, due to snow.

it wasn't until new year's eve (3 days later) that i boarded a flight home.
to be honest, i missed working. there's something about family that sucks away from you any time or willpower for work.

it's one thing if i lived close to my parents, visited them one or two evenings per month. the units of measurement here are hours; i can budget that sort of time.

in contrast, living 400+ miles away means that every visit is a prolonged investment of time, measured instead in days or weeks.

there's no daily, regularly-repeating schedule either, and i might as well be taking appointments.
one day we're off to see my paternal grandmother; another day it's my maternal grandparents. two days later, we're celebrating the solstice or it's a family shopping trip.

my friend from high school wants to meet for breakfast sometime, another evening is an old friend's birthday. social media is crippling: if i don't go, i'll probably offend someome.

then, for a few mornings, it's nothing but shoveling snow.
i like seeing my family .. at first. averaging out over a week's time, though, i quickly get the sense that i'm visiting out of obligation, not out of enjoyment.


all of that said, all i "wanted for christmas" [1] was to be left alone for a week,

work out research ideas in the mornings,
perhaps write a little, in the afternoons,
and in the evenings, either meet friends or catch up on my reading ..

in other words, i just wanted a break from teaching so that i could .. well, work. it's not like i'm asking for a tenure-track job, or anything ..

[winces]
.. right: the joint meetings. there's that to prepare, too ..
[sighs]

it never really ends, does it? \-:


coming up: what i'll be teaching, this term.


[1] i'm actually an agnostic, in the sense that religious principles seem like axioms to me (so you can't really verify them, one way or another). this would explain, for example, why atheists and believers never seem to agree on anything: the logical systems are inherently different, and probably incompatible.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

delays.

sometimes it pays to pack at the last minute:

knowing i wouldn't be able to get any work done this morning, i opted to wake up at 9am, have a leisurely cup of coffee, then pack my bags before leaving at 10:30am.

this morning, however, the alarm on my cell phone rings unexpectedly.
7:51am? did i press '7' instead of '8' ?!?

so i fumble for the phone, flip it open to turn off the alarm, and realise that the alarm isn't on at all.

instead, a mechanical voice tells me that my flight's been canceled ..
..
..
.. yeah: don't you love the holidays?


so i'm rebooked now. the plans have changed:
i'm staying an extra 3 days with family.

it could be worse, but i really wanted to leave today: there's much to do, and honestly, i miss work. i can't seem to do any maths, while here.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

.. and away we go ..

the trip hasn't even started yet, and i'm already tired. Maybe that's good, that i'll beat the jet lag more easily.


so i'm on my way to germany: three atlantic crossings in one year. a week is almost too short for this kind of trip. i wonder if i'll get used to the jet lag before the conference ends.

so far, it's not been awful.

i'm on the plane,
they served me a beer,
the seat has an ac adapter,
and google is offering free onboard wifi ..

.. at least until we leave u.s. airspace.

i'm still tired, and it's doubtful i'll get any sleep. 8 hours can be a long time to sit in one place [1], and in-flight entertainment can only be interesting for so long ..

.. maybe i'll write my talk before we land.

[1] strictly speaking, the plane will travel some thousands of miles, so it's not one fixed location on the earth. you know what i mean, though. \-:

Thursday, November 04, 2010

more thoughts, while visiting.

it's energizing to be among postdocs and fellow visitors in the same research area. i feel more productive, like i'm thinking more.

i guess i'm still used to being in a bigger department, despite having been away from one for 2+ years.

to clarify, i don't mean that every idea is a good one. despite this, i think it a good sign, from several viewpoints:

an optimist will say that the more ideas there are, the more good ideas there are.

a pessimist might begrudge you that if all of your ideas are working, then you're not getting enough ideas.

seminars require willpower to work. the members must sacrifice a little time and effort for a greater good.

i remember attending 4-5 seminars weekly as a graduate student. this also meant that i'd give 3 expository seminar talks per term .. which was fine. i learned the talk subjects better than if i had leafed through books and papers, at any rate.

one has to develop a seminar culture, though. for this term, our analysis seminar is dead in the water. (maybe we can change that, for the spring.)


next time i'll talk as early as possible.

it's good to get out of the way. there's another benefit, i suppose: the sooner people know your results, the sooner discussions ensue.

at any rate, today was my talk, which wasn't a disaster.

seeing (a) unfamiliar faces, (b) familiar faces whose corresponding minds don't study metric spaces, and (c) students in the crowd, i became paranoid about giving an accessible talk. so i indulged in 10-15 minutes of discussing the relevant hypotheses on metrιc measμre spacεs.

i think it hurt me in the end, though: i rushed through a technical part in the last few minutes. then again, by the end of a 50-minute talk, who knows if anyone was listening?


a fellow visitor asked me about my talk. i thought she was just being nice, but then she asked about ptwise Lipschιtz extensions and p-harmonic functions!

to further clarify: this was a geometric group theοorist and today i wasn't talking about anything related to ΡDE. it was both surprising and really cool.

(abstractly it occurred to me that lipschitz extensions could be used in geometry, but it never occurred to me that someone would actually ask me.)

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

observations, as a guest.

1. when you're a visitor, everyone looks busy. then again, i would probably look the same, to anyone visiting me. at any rate, i'm glad i brought some of my own work to do, while my colleagues are away at meetings and teaching.

2. the department i've visiting feels very geometric: the conversations reflect it. in my own department, i feel like my conversations are mainly about function theory and PDE. (it's just interesting to compare how different groups work.)

3. every time i visit another department, it's only a matter of time before i draw tubes and slabs on their blackboards. this time, it occurred more quickly than usual: i suspect i'll think about metrιc derιvations regularly, for the next few weeks.