Monday, September 08, 2008

the usual complaints.

i've lately had this suspicion that i'm doing something .. not wrong, but inefficiently. all my time seems to be slipping away, and my research-related to-do list grows by the day. perhaps it used to be funny, but not anymore.

students flooded my office hour today. their homework is due tomorrow and wednesday. i find that to be a bad omen.

i would keep ranting about teaching, but it's getting old and i don't want to think about it until tomorrow afternoon. suffice to say that it's draining -- the lectures, the email, the students and the requests. sometimes it's not even an issue of time, but of the mental space it takes up.

maybe i should stop worrying. a friend of mine once argued that when the teacher doesn't teach so well, the students will work a little harder. i wonder if i should try that out.

argh: just now, another email. sometimes i hate myself. i told the student to email me, otherwise i'd forget. now i can't.

if i counted right, it was 45 minutes. today i thought about new research for a total of 45 minutes, before succumbing to hunger and buying/eating a small chickpea curry with rice from one of the campus food trucks.

i know some of you will say: "45 minutes? Ha! I haven't had time to do research in weeks!" so, sorry: it still bothers me and i want to be productive. if i had larger blocks of time, i'd be writing in efforts to finish up a draft of that Paper Which Refuses To Be Finished (and Which Once Took The Form of a Thesis).

others of you will say: "Janus, you are doing something wrong. If you don't have time for research, then you are spending too much time on other things." i wonder about that, a lot .. or maybe as often as i have time to worry about such matters.

most of tomorrow is wide open. apart from exercise and one appointment with a student, i have the day to scholarly pursuits ..

.. like writing that talk that i'm supposed to give on thursday. oh well. it's a worthwhile endeavor. at some point i have to squeeze in time for research and writing and, as a new challenge ..

.. applying for a grant.

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