## Friday, September 26, 2008

### one month in, and what has happened.

there's nothing like usurping a departmental computer when nobody's around, and using it for your own personal ends ..

.. such as blogging.

i miss blogging, even though i probably do as much of it as i used to. if i had to gauge now vs. before, then it seems that these entries are more urgent and repetitive. i feel like i keep on reiterating the same goals and fail to meet them, week after week.

now that i think about it, it's a month into my postdoc. so far,
• no new directions of research taken; i've thought about similar problems which are related to my thesis, but nothing serious. rather: i've proven nothing too interesting, but i want to reach something interesting. this may sound over-confident, but i think i can. [1]

• no papers finished. in email correspondence i've assured friends, who are venturing into the market, that they are better prepared now than i was, then: i was a man without preprints, only a research statement, and for some reason, someone still wanted to hire me.

funny world, that.

i suppose it is good that i can soothe the anxieties of friends, but it also works the other way: ye gods, everyone seems to have papers and preprints. i have a job now, but in three years ..?

• i've fallen ill and only now do i feel normal again.

• .. and yes, there is something positive on this list. i'm slowly getting to know my research group, visitors included. today i met a finnish analyst whom i've only before known by hearsay. it is nice to know that he exists and seems a friendly fellow.

• related to that, i'm slowly feeling like less of a visitor and part of this faculty.

just today i was invited to sit through a pre-dissertation meeting for a newly-made candidate. it was interesting work and i could even understand some of it. for the experts, it was a mixture of su6riemannian 9e0metry and ma tran\$p0rtati0n problems: good stuff.

every weekend i hope for a productive weekend. sometimes it happens; other times i can only say that i visited the library.

[1] this could also be my one-track mind: i've not even one paper about my thesis work ready, yet. in my own mind it feels like i shouldn't work on anything too new until at least that paper is done. it tests my patience, of course ..

.. but one works faster when one has something to do and would rather do something else.