if i were less tired, then i might be happy.

(

anyways, back to work ..

a friend asked me last night how this semester went, particularly in terms of teaching. i didn't blink at all, and said:

"

*it was like an open wound for 2 months.*"

this, of course, scandalised him, so i had to explain:

the best mathematicians i know can switch modes very quickly:at any rate, i feel wounds of the mental sort. i'm glad that the job applications are done, up to january.

two hours ago, they could be talking with their doctoral students, working out details. one hour ago, they would be teaching and talking about standard things. upon the hour, they would start brainstorming with me about ideas for a paper.

i don't have that ability, not yet anyway. between job applications, an NSF grant application, two conferences, and finding time for another paper, teaching often felt like an afterthought.

so i was surprised when one of my students chose to tell me how much he enjoyed my class. my own opinion was that it went sub-optimally, desolately.

it's been a while since i've "felt like a mathematician," struggling with new problems and looking for appropriate perspectives in which to think about certain problems. this week will be a good research week. maybe i'll accomplish something after all.

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