if you're a researcher, then do research.

last thursday morning i couldn't stand to look at another draft of my research statement. so i set it aside, went to a cafe, and thought about a problem [0].

at some point in the day i started feeling guilty, and went back to the job stuff.

as for how it went, though,

i felt rusty, like i hadn't exercised in a while;
i felt slow and plodding.

it still felt right.

just like exercise, the first workout in a while is always tiring, the fatigue familiar yet strangely welcome.

the days after that followed the same way and like exercise, i felt more and more fit. coincidentally, i finally have a complete draft of that statement. [1]

today, i feel good:

i kept at the problem and made some small progress,
taught two classes and held one office hour,
and even thought about ..

[winces]

.. the teaching statement. i think it will go well, though.

it's strange just to say that things are going (relatively) well. then again, we academics are a frustrated lot; often i hear more bad than good.


[0] in case you're curious, it's about the heιsenberg grοup.

[1] i'm not reading any morals from this. at some point that kind of writing reaches an end, anyway.