after back-&-forth debates on whether to add another section or project [1],
after making one section shorter, then longer, then another section longer,
i've finally made it to the crucial number: 15 pages.
somehow, i also accrued 54 or more references [ln(3)].
i'm not even sure if my thesis has that many references .. [2] but for the current task, most of these have been earned by recent, constant searches on mathscιnet, clicking on lists of references and reading article reviews.
at some point in the evening -- or night, or perhaps early morning, it doesn't matter -- i started reading one review, and i could swear that i had read it before. on the other hand, the terminology was too new to me, and the exposition had too many surprises for me to have seen them before.
it was just disarmingly familiar;
maybe i just needed sleep or coffee, or food,
and in their absence i wilted towards false thoughts.
nonetheless, i was consumed. i read on.
by the end, it made sense -- not the math, of course, that's too great a feat for a mind like mine -- but as for why i "remembered" ..
.. the advisor had written the review.
i had recognised him,
two paragraphs in.
odd, but fitting. even dead, he still finds a way to be helpful .. or at least to young, far less well-read researchers like me. (-:
[1] yes, i was arguing with myself. to my credit, however, i didn't make up separate voices for each side of the argument, nor acted them out with toy figurines. sometimes one must draw the line somewhere.
[ln(3)] as of last count, it was 54. it may still increase ..
[2] .. i just checked: 44 references, including one non-mathematical, so 43.
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