Wednesday, April 22, 2009

mathematical amnesia/unpreparedness [from yesterday]

remind me never to choose a Lap1ace transf0rm problem to grade, if i have a choice in the matter.

oh well;
at least it's over now.

the weather is chilly today, not a distraction. i had the morning free for research and i read about s0bo1ev spa¢es once again.

after this many years of having such function spaces around, too often i still feel like i don't know anything about them.

that's been a recurring feeling:

not knowing anything ..
.. rather, not being a specialist in any particular topic.

that's just another way of saying, of course,
that i don't know anything well.

there are some proofs that i've written of a few theorems, sure, but the sum body of work is not at all cohesive. it looks schizophrenic.

i can't shake off the feeling that for each paper that i will write hereafter, i'll have to get the hang of another theory. i don't mind learning new, interesting things -- after all, this is the academic's life -- but that future looks exhausting.

it's inevitable that there must be some pains. new papers should contain new ideas, or at least, new applications or perspectives on existing ideas.

that fact never bothered me before;
i don't know why i pause at it now.

maybe, as a student, i didn't prepare myself well enough, with a background sufficiently in depth. plenty of mathematicians work in a field equipped with "standard tools." how i managed not to achieve that .. well, the incidence is not surprising, but exactly how it happened is a mystery to me.

maybe i'm less clever than i thought i was,
or just lazier than i'd like to be.

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