Saturday, August 31, 2013

ANH: first day unease.

today [0] i taught two classes, each of which were 75 minutes long. in each i felt like i was saying obvious things [1] and wondered if i was boring the students into a desperation of some kind, that i just stop talking and dismiss class early.

i don't know why, but i hate being boring ... well actually, i do know:
first, i don't want to enforce the stereotype that maths is hard and boring;
on the other hand, it takes a while for me to get anywhere interesting.

a lot of times i struggle with writing lectures because i can't convince myself of really, is this it? come on! there has to be something interesting in this whole topic..!

last night, after deliberating on and off, i finally put some lecture notes down on paper .. at about 1am. then i promptly fell asleep, glad to be rid of the task.
i don't think i succeeded. i don't think i "get" the students yet, and i don't think they "get" me.

[0] that is, on friday: i finished this post later that night.

[1] which, of course, they were .. to me. that's not a statement of arrogance; any seasoned calculus instructor would probably tell you the same.

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