Monday, July 01, 2013

unfocused .. (updated)

maybe i should take a vacation: a short one, maybe a week.

i haven't been able to focus for a while. today i was in the office and rather than sticking to a list of things that i really should do, i spun the same ideas on the same problem that i've failed to solve for .. well, years.

..

it's one of those transitional times in my life again:
1. in six weeks i'll start a new job in the states, one that could be for life .. that is, if they like me enough;

2. i recently solved an open problem that's plagued me from the latter years of my ph.d. it was the kind of problem that if i had a spare day, then i'd just attack it with any idea i had .. even if it meant that the day would be lost to compulsion, folly, and frustration.
so i can't seem to get excited about any new projects. there's plenty of things to do, of course, but .. i can't convince myself to do anything.

sometimes i'll catch myself staring through the window, not thinking about anything in particular.

// added 2 july 2013 @ 03:46 EST
so perhaps i spoke too soon:

when i woke up today and made coffee, i decided not to attack the problem again but instead, work out a related formula that has stumped me before.

it turns out that it follows pretty easily from basic principles .. at least, easily after a good night's sleep (and/or subconscious hacking).

now that i think about it: it would make sense that i had proven it before, forgotten it, and just now re-discovered it. i don't know, i can't remember, and my notes are not archived well enough for me to check it readily.

[shrugs]

well, at least it's true. it doesn't solve that aforementioned problem, of course, but it does narrow the gap so that there are fewer things to try.

..

related to all of this, i keep forgetting about the happy clarity that mornings can provide. let me make this clear: though it might be nice to be part of the 5am club, i'm happy enough enjoying the evenings and getting a few hours in the morning before heading to the office. (-:

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