Monday, November 05, 2007

on what "productive" means.

i guess i haven't posted in a while. much has happened, but i'd rather not talk about it now. those who should know the events of the last few weeks: at this point they already know.

life has been hard, and it's going to be hard for a while.



today i felt productive, until i realised that i've misused the word "productive" lately.

i spent last week writing drafts of research statements and jotted scraps of what i think about teaching onto sundry scattered pages. i would have said that those days were not productive, even though they were. they serve the purpose of making me more eligible for jobs that i want.

i spent today doing some mathematics, thinking through several theories of others and if they do fit together well. so today, a math day, felt productive.

so maybe i should have said that i felt stimulated or pleasantly challenged instead. it's the same fallacy of which i am commonly guilty: when i say that i feel "old," what i really mean is that i feel tired or slow or forgetful.

at any rate, the job search presses on, and work beckons.

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