an hour ago (~1:40am) i was still grading calc ii exams. between that and the bike ride home through the rain, i think i've lost a large dose of humanity.
i feel cold and cold-blooded, cynical, and worn out, too. i feel like impassive stone.
all that frustration at not having any time for research has somehow vanished; maybe it lies hidden under too many hours of waking and too many instances of misapplied convergence tests to infinite series. i don't feel the past few nights of fitful sleep and insomnia .. not yet, at least, and i fear they lie in wait for the morning.
argh. tomorrow morning is in a few hours!
my hair is wet and my eyes are wide open; in an hour i will be dead to the world and in a few more hours, jolted awake by necessity and past promises.
i hate having to be responsible. more responsibility means less sleep. \:
2 comments:
Unfortunately our life at large is too hasty and involved and confising for a great work to accomplish, or at least to feel comfortable with it. Maybe that's for better; it seems to me that the more work to do means the more life to live or at least the more (forced) experience to get. Responsibility could be a great teacher.
Grading homework is the most unpleasant part of tuition. It takes much time and effort to be done thoroughlly. Generally it takes me twice the time to check a solution than to solve the problem myself. Very depressing.
(Actually it's my first semester of instruction practice so I just hope instructorship is really much much better than I feel it is based on my limited experience).
Time is the ultimate evil, it kills us eventually and it can't be stopped. I used to hate it; now I just try to accomplish as much as I can and cope with the recurring lack of sleep as if it is normal. My point is that
time management is not up to us, why bother?
Actually it's my first semester of instruction practice so I just hope instructorship is really much much better than I feel it is based on my limited experience
from my own recollection, i remember the key difference between instruction practice and actual instructorship is your scope.
in my own teaching training we were taught and practiced classroom techniques and study skills which are effective for students, but it was only when i became an instructor that i realised how important pace and attitude are, in teaching a course.
it also took me a few terms before i felt that i knew how to teach something. some days i still feel as if i don't know.
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