fluency and a little hope.

life .. isn't bad, lately:
research-wise, i mean.

some ideas are working, and others are not, leaving unutterable mysteries for other days to ponder .. and 'unutterable' in that i still cannot find the right formulation.

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i forgot my notebooks and folders yesterday, when i arrived at a coffeehouse after playing basketball and drinking large amounts of water. but i had some paper, and realised that i could work straightaway.

the questions and context came that easily to mind. perhaps it was the caffeine stimulus, but i thought in a few new directions and now there's plenty to investigate.


it's an interesting feeling: i feel productive, and i feel fluent.

i've often told my students that mathematics is a language, and it takes time and practice to do it well. but sometimes to do really well, one does the same as when learning a spoken language: immerse in it.

i've been thinking about this problem and the relevant literature since last fall, a nine-month immersion, and i think it's finally sinking in. it's not just simple phrases, like "hello" and "at what time does the train arrive?" more than that, i feel like i can have an actual conversation .. albeit halting and unsophisticated, but i feel the fluency.


i also feel hope .. or as much hope as i can feel, at the moment.

having no more brainpower for research tonight, i'm collecting my thoughts and endeavors into LaTeX format, and realising that it adds up to a sparse number of pages. never mind omitting some background and writing mere outlines of proof ..

.. there's not much.
then again, i'm not done, but what can i say?
my hope is a fragile sort.