i don't know how people can concentrate for so long on the same task. it's not that i hate thesis writing, but i've done so much of it in such a short time [1] that i've lost all enjoyment of writing that i once had.
last night i finally did it: i wrote a complete introduction. it's not very good and it needs work. however, it is something that i can properly criticize, instead of staring at empty LaTeX whitespace and thinking,
"what if i wrote this? would it work?
no, maybe i should write that instead ..
.. wait. but then i would also have to write that other thing,
so never mind: okay, should i write this?"
in other words, i've done the equivalent of shutting myself up, by way of saying
"it doesn't matter! just write something! anything!"
so i did.
before 11pm i wrote something which fit in the outline that i wanted for an introduction. then i printed it out and stapled it to the front of a printout of the remaining sections.
wow. a complete draft ..
.. wait; come on. this is a complete BUT unedited draft.
there's much work left to do ..
however, this morning i didn't do it. i woke up late and thought about some new ideas instead. i had this silly idea that i thought could prove some conjecture, and only now do i realize that yes, it is silly.
so remember when i said that i missed doing new maths? well, i have my wish now, and some more. now i recall how frustrating it can be, to see an idea fail.
ah, well. maybe it's hopeless, maybe it isn't.
it's not a complete failure, but i've thought as much as i wanted to think about it. despite the frustration, i did learn why the problem is hard.
now there's no more temptation.
now i can get back to editing without any "what ifs."
[1] technically, that's untrue. more accurately, i've worried and fretted about it a lot in a very short time. whether or not i've done very much is a highly speculative matter.
EDIT (11:39PM) : i was right. my introduction isn't very good. however, it is getting better as we speak.
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