today, however, i nearly fell into self-defeat.
it began well. at the apartment this morning, i jotted down ideas which, when combined with good transitional flow, might make a tolerable teaching statement. i set it aside and thought to go to the office
(where there is internet)
and start looking up information about various mathematics departments, in efforts to prepare for cover letters.
i never realised how specialised my work is, and how hard it can be to fit research interests into another department. i began my search by asking,
"does anyone in this/that department study the analysis or geometry of metric spaces?"
and realising how few there were, i thought about what i could say i know:
a little geometric measure theory
a little PDE,
a little sub-Riemannian geometry..
and that was it. there weren't so many departments for those, either. so i began to ask myself,
"what could i realistically LEARN during a postdoc, in order to do research with people in this/that department ..?"
note the emphasis on the word 'realistically,' so now you see: self-defeat.
it took a lot of self-convincing that an application consists of research (and teaching) statements, vitae, publication lists, recommendation letters, and cover letters -- that's it.
i can try and make the best packets i can possibly make, and maybe (just maybe) i might look good on paper, and good enough that someone will hire me.
then again, maybe everyone else is feeling equally inferior.
3 comments:
Trust me, as someone on the market in another field, everyone else is feeling equally inferior. :-) The market is also a random place - the stochastic process is strong. Don't take it personally. I know it's hard but I'm really starting to see that.
R^n and C^n are metric spaces, too, and analysis on them is being studied at various places.
And yes, feeling inferior is an inherent part of the process.
As someone who just spent two years on the market, I strongly believe that sheer randomness is the ONLY thing that makes it all (the good and the humiliating) bearable. You can't feel too great about the ups nor too horrible about the downs. Keep chugging away and inevitably (even if it takes a couple of years or more) the phone will ring. Good luck - Matty and I are thinking of you and hoping for the best.
Post a Comment