Monday, December 12, 2005

weary, and miles to go ..

Up to one key detail, I think I finally understand what I'm going to talk about tomorrow in Hyperbolic 3-Manifolds class. It took far more hours of turning analytic arguments into geometric reasoning than I'd have liked, and in the end, I was only rarely successful ..

Now all I have to do is write the outline of the talk in such a way so that, sleep-deprived and weary, I have enough information to go on auto-pilot and say what I mean to say. I think I know myself too well; there will be some hitch in the plans, and as a result I won't get any sleep tonight.



On a partially related note, I think my coffee consumption is spiralling out of control. I have half a mind to go "cold turkey" during winter holidays .. that is, after my prelim has come and gone.

It might be a disaster, otherwise. I do want to pass this thing, after all.



On an even more tenuous note, I don't think I understand rectifiability in Rn after all. Sitting in Geometric Measure Theory class today I had trouble following the motivation and intuition, and then I wondered if I adhered too closely to Mattila as the gospel truth.

Too often I forget to be distrustful of books. Illusions shatter: better they do now than next week.

It still feels depressing, though. This was one thing I thought I actually knew, too .. \:



Lately I've forgone the notion of finishing the term strong and well, competent and carefully. It's enough just to finish: do what needs to be done, and deal with the malaise and self-recriminations later.

After all, there will always be self-recriminations. More fuel to the fire, is all.

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