fitful day, little done.

i couldn't concentrate today. at most i reread some class notes from 2 1/2 years ago that i don't remember taking. all the better to reread them, i suppose, and better yet, they concern results from a paper of J. Cheeger that i was going to read anyway.

then, absurdly enough, i took notes.

yes, you read that correctly: i took reading notes from my class notes. they weren't hard to follow, but somehow the process of notetaking sharpens my understanding, much like taking notes during research seminars.

indeed, there's a 5% chance that you might actually look at seminar notes again, but the point is to keep busy and listen more attentively; you can't slack off if you're recording the nuances of the talk.

still .. absurd. yes, absurd.
but i couldn't help myself.

---

there's an off-and-on feeling i get, and though i can predict it coming i can never shake it off when it does. it's a feeling of being overwhelmed, but it's not so much stress as being impressed.

take this cheeger paper that i mentioned. borrowing generalisations from the quasi-world theory, he reproves a form of rademacher's theorem which is genuinely new in a modern, more general context ..

.. but that's not all.

impressive as it is, that theorem is used as an application to deduce a structure theorem: generalised cotangent bundles exist for a class of metric (measure) spaces.

amazing. absolutely amazing.

it's not exactly what i study, but an elephant of a question arises: how in the world do i add to that?!?

under the cool light of calm and reason, one can always think of something, perhaps by identifying weak points and asking questions.

but for me, that takes a while. i have to withdraw and let it sink in me, much like how i am quiet after a good film or concert. sometimes i see or hear or understand and in a single moment it is too much, and i can say or do nothing.

who'd have thought there would be a downside in being able to appreciate something?