lessons for an academic.

it's been a few weeks since i last met with the advisor. i think there has been some benefit, even a little lesson:

if anything, i've had to learn to depend on myself when it comes to research. it hasn't been easy to hold myself accountable for my ideas, and filter out the good ones from the bad by myself.

i've had to tell myself not to pursue certain ideas, but only to write them down (for later) and focus on the goal at hand.

i've had to realise that it's not worth focusing on certain goals, because there is evidence (through examples) that the methods of proof do not work in general.

i've also realised how many mistakes i could possibly make, and how quickly a day can be wasted.

i don't know if this bodes well for me. every so often i remind myself that one day i won't be a student anymore, and i'll be expected to conduct my own independent research and to have good, interesting ideas.

i also remind myself that i have to write a thesis before i'm no longer a student.


it's been about six months and i've no results yet, i'm afraid:
there are only dead ends, and i know why they're dead.

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on a lighter note, i've made it to 200+ posts on this website.