mental inertia.

one of these days i'll determine some dependable way of convincing myself to work. naively it would seem easy, since i have no other life. paradoxically enough, mine is the life of a lazy workaholic.

as of now, i've hit a work lull and in danger of lulling the rest of the evening away .. which is bad: if anything, i have to check whether a mapping i've constructed is continuously differentiable, and if so, then it might be the final nail in this gluing manifolds chapter of my thesis work.

then again, i've said that before with some tone of hope, only to have it dashed upon jagged and piercing rocks .. so let's not get too excited here.

the best solution on the table, thus far, hearkens to old habits: i still work well in coffeehouses, and have done so since my undergrad days.

to think: when i was a wee undergrad, all i really wanted was an office. in retrospect, this is kin to a child's wish to be like the bigger kids (read: grad students)

i suppose the price of asking for something you want is getting just that. it almost makes you want to cede away your desire and wants.

but anyways, i've spent too long in the office and the thought of going home is not often a happy one. how that came to be is unknown to me.

i should get to work, and so demanding, i should resolve these petty matters. tomorrow is another meeting with the advisor, and the glimmer of hope (that the end is near) is too bright for me to sink into lazy oblivion .. at least not tonight.

all right. time to verify the smoothness of a mapping.