I wrote this yesterday morning-into-afternoon. It's short but says something.
Two weeks ago it was Tuesday and I was sitting at the Caribou Coffee down the street from my apartment, with a legal pad and a copy of Hirsch's Differential Topology on the table. [1] I was reading about isotopies of diffeomorphisms, tubular and collar neighborhoods of submanifolds, and beneath it all, this notion of vector bundles.
Today I find myself doing the exact same thing -- reading the same parts from Hirsch -- and strangely enough, it doesn't bother me.
The difference, I think, lies in attitude and manner. That fortnight ago, I had the mentality of "Oh, sh!t. How am I going to learn all of this?!?" and part of me [2] rolled his eyes at that state of affairs, as if saying, "F*ck, man. You still haven't sorted out this smooth Schoenflies issue yet, have you?"
But now I can say to that older self: "F*ck off, son. [3] If we were able to do it then, it would be done already, wouldn't it? We're doing it now and it will get done. So, cool it.
"What's your rush, anyways? This bundle stuff is damned cool, and when's the next chance we'll study these smooth things? After this, we're jumping back to coarse, Lipschitz stuff and PL technique, maybe. Let's enjoy it as it goes, yeah?"
Little pissant that he was, my past self had nothing to say in response.
and yes, I'm still reading Hirsch as of now. With any luck, this stuff will be sorted out tomorrow and I can return to getting more research results.
[1] I highly recommend the book, if you're looking for something a step beyond a first look into (smooth) manifolds and tangent spaces (cf. Guilleman/Pollack). Also, for the record there was the de-facto cup of coffee on the table, as well. q:
[2] More and more I believe that I have virtual multiple personalities; it's either that or I'm too good at naysaying to let myself off the hook.
[3] Even though that past self is chronologically older than my present self, the past self is frozen in age and maturity, so in a way, my past self is also "younger" than my present self. Weird, I know.
3 comments:
it was a de facto cup of coffee? not a de jure one? i prefer obligatory. i just like the way that rolls off the tongue. obligatory. obligatory. obligatory. now, apparantly, i will have to make an appointment for one of those free therapy sessions.....
just wondering if umich offers free psychological therapy sessions to its graduate students. you may wish to take advantage of this, sybil.
I'll stick with de facto, though I meant it in more of a power-seizing sense, that is, the temptation of coffee seized away my willpower.
Also, I always objected (inwardly, at least) that talking to oneself is a sign of instability or insanity. Maybe it's because I talk to myself all the time, and would rather not be dragged into the loony bin. q:
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